The night was cold and dark as Elroy J. Catt walked down the street. Lucky for him the rain had stopped and he was not soaked.
Up ahead he saw lights, lots and lots of lights, he walked toward the bright twinkling lights and saw that someone had decorated for Christmas.
“What in the world?” He thought to himself. “It’s just now the night after Halloween.”
As he neared the house with all of the lights he saw another cat walking around in the yard.
“Perhaps that cat will be my friend.” Said Elroy.
Little did Elroy know the other cat was none other than Spookie Marie Moosebaum, she lived in the house, with the big weird guy, the caring woman and the loud boy.
“Hi.” Said Elroy.
“Hello stray cat.” Said Spookie nonchalantly.
“Do you live here?” Asked Elroy.
“Yes, now please leave.” Said Spookie.
“Do you have some food you can spare?” Elroy asked.
“Do I look like a grocery store to you?” Spookie responded snottily.
“No. You look like another cat.” Said Elroy.
Unbeknownst to Elroy, the big weird guy was watching Spookie on the security cameras he had recently installed.
All he could see of Elroy was his eyes glowing in the cameras from under his truck. Thinking it was the fox that the big weird guy and the loud boy had seen earlier that day, coming to try to eat Spookie, the big weird guy jumped up and ran outside yelling chasing Elroy away.
“Dang!” Exclaimed Elroy. “I guess I will have to scavenge the other people’s garbage cans again.”
Elroy went about his business, carefully listening to the sounds of the night, for he too knew of the fox, as well as coyotes who loved to eat unsuspecting cats.
He crept up to the garbage can and leaped onto the edge of it to see if there was anything in it he could eat.
Finding an old ham bone with some meat left on it, Elroy happily began eating.
In the distance he heard the yelping cry of the coyotes as they hunted in the woods behind him.
He knew they were still far away but still the hair bristled on his back, “I better find some place high so that they can’t eat me.” He said to himself.
The next evening Elroy was walking down the same street when once again he saw Spookie Marie Moosebaum walking in her yard.
“Hello grocery store.” He said with a smile.
“Ugh! You again.” Said Spookie.
“Yes.” Elroy replied it is me. “Be careful wandering about for their are coyotes in the woods behind your house.”
“Coyotes do not bother me, I am faster and I have the big weird guy and the loud boy to scare them away.” Spookie smugly responded.
“I don’t have anyone.” Said Elroy.
“Then I guess you are the one that should be careful.” Spookie said as she turned and walked toward the front door of the house.
It was at that time the big weird guy came outside and chased Elroy away once again.
“Dad, that is just another cat and he seems to be friendly.” Said the loud boy.
“We don’t need no more stinking cats around here.” Said the big weird guy.
“Hmmph.” Said Spookie as she watched Elroy run down the street fleeing from the big weird guy.
The following night Elroy made his way back to the house with all the lights and as he walked toward a truck parked in the drive, he saw the big weird guy putting something down in front of the steps.
“What is he doing?” Elroy asked himself.
“Is that what I think it is?” He questioned.
“That is tuna. I remember Tuna.” He said to himself.
“Alright cat, you can quit sneaking around and come and get some food.” The big weird guy said as he sat down on the steps.
Elroy walked up and looked at the bowl of tuna and looked over at the big weird guy. “Is this a trap?” he asked himself.
But whether it was a trap or not the smell of tuna was too strong for Elroy to resist, so he went over and began eating.
The big weird guy sat there watching him and then said aloud, “It’s too close to Christmas and it is too cold for anyone or anything to be stuck out here with out any food.”
Elroy ate until he could eat no more, looked at the big weird guy and said, “Meow” which is cat language for “Thank you, but it could use a little bit of pepper and maybe just a touch of salt.”
“You’re welcome and I’ll try to remember that.” Said the big weird guy.
Elroy walked away and found himself a nice cozy spot in a drain pipe to sleep through the night.
The next night Elroy walked back by the house with the lights and another smell caught his attention.
“Salmon” he said to himself as he walked up the drive to find a bowl with some salmon cat food in it.
Elroy ate the food and walked away to his cozy spot to sleep again.
As he slept he dreamed of a place where people would love him and let him inside their house, so that he could climb on them and sleep next them and not have to worry so much about being eaten by coyotes. His dreams would be short lived as a noise woke Elroy from his slumber. A sniffing noise followed by a highpitched growl. Looking around he saw a fox.
The fox was slowly walking through the grass, sniffing and occasionally giving a growl, the sound it makes when it thinks it’s prey is not in the vicinity.
“She’s tracking the rabbit I smelled earlier.” Thought Elroy. “Uh oh! That rabbit and I crossed trails so that fox is going to pick up my scent as well.”
Elroy knew he had to do something because his cozy spot had just became compromised. If the fox smelled him, he knew it would be just as liable to come after him as it was to go after the rabbit.
Looking around Elroy saw that the nearest tree was still too far for him to outrun a fox, he knew he would have to fight, but he also knew he could not win.
Fearing the worst, Elroy braced himself for what was about to come, when all of a sudden the fox let out a high pitched yelp and ran back toward the woods behind the houses.
It was the big weird guy with a bb gun in his hands. He was shooting the fox with bbs making him run away.
“Here kitty kitty.” The big weird guy said.
Elroy left the drain pipe and walked toward the big weird guy who put the bb gun down and patted Elroys head.
“Come on cat.” He said. “You can stay here tonight.”
Elroy didn’t know what to think as the big weird guy picked him up and carried him inside to where the caring woman, the loud boy and Spookie Marie Moosebaum were sitting.
“What are you doing?” The caring woman asked.
“I ran that fox off outside, I thought it was going after the neighbors chickens but I believe it was going after this cat so I burned his rear with a couple of bbs.”
“But why are you bringing that stray cat inside?” The caring woman asked.
“I don’t know.” The big weird guy replied. “It just seemed like the thing to do.”
“Well what are you going to name him?” The caring woman asked.
“I don’t know, we will figure that out later.” The big weird guy said.
Elroy looked up at the big weird guy and said “Meow”, which is cat language for “Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Elroy Jefferson Catt, Esquire.”
“Elroy it is then.” Said the big weird guy. I’m Gary, that there is Cindy and the loud one is Hunter. I reckon you can hang out here if you want to.”
The big weird guy placed Elroy on the floor of the living room and walked over and sat down in a recliner and propped his feet up to watch some football.
Elroy sat in the floor for a moment then walked over to the recliner and hopped up into the big weird guys lap… and threw up.
The big weird guy laughed and gagged a little as he stood up and went to the bathroom to clean himself off.
“That is one strange cat.” He said to himself as he went and picked Elroy up and returned to his seat. “Shucks I reckon I like him.”
“Shucks, I reckon I like you too, big weird guy.” Said Elroy. Which sounded a lot like “Meow.”
And every since that night in November two years ago, Elroy J. Catt has lived with the big weird guy, the caring woman and the loud boy.
Now this is where the story would normally say The End. But it is not the end, it is merely the beginning.
Tune in next time when we hear Elroy J. Catt say “Meow.” Which is cat language for “Turnip greens? I hate turnip greens.”
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