It was a beautiful sunny day. The caring woman, the painted girl and the alien midgets were discussing what they wanted to do.
“Why don’t we have a picnic?” The oldest of the two alien midgets asked.
“That is a great idea.” The caring woman said. “I will pack us a picnic basket, with some sandwiches, lemonade, and cake for dessert.”
“YAY!” The other three shouted in unison.
So the caring woman packed a picnic basket, grabbing a blanket the painted girl sniffed it and said “Does this smell like cat to you?”
“No.” Said the caring woman. “It smells like Ebenezer.”
“Hee hee hee. Me peed on the blanket.” Said Ebenezer.
“Why did you pee on the blanket son?” The painted girl asked.
“Elroy does it.” Ebenezer exclaimed.
Hearing his name Elroy J. Catt sauntered into the room. “Meow.” He said, which is cat language for “Did some one mention my name?”
“Yes, Elroy.” Said Cletus, (the oldest of the alien midgets) “You peed on the blanket.”
“Meow.” Said Elroy, which is cat language for “It wasn’t me, you might want to check with the big weird guy.”
“Why would the big weird guy pee on the blanket?” Asked Ebenezer.
“Meow.” Replied Elroy, which is cat language for “Big, weird, guy. What else do you need to know.”
“Makes sense to me.” Said Cletus.
“Meow?” Asked Elroy, which is cat language for “Are you guys going on a picnic?”
“Yes.” Replied Ebenezer.
“No cats allowed.” Said Cletus.
“Meow?” Asked Elroy, which is cat language for ” And why the heck not?”
“Because we don’t have cat food in the picnic basket.” The painted girl responded.
“Meow.” Said Elroy, which is cat language for “Fine I will bring my own.”
The caring woman, painted girl and alien midgets walked outside and found a nice spot. They laid a fresh unpeed blanket on the ground and sat down to enjoy their picnic.
“Okay, here’s a plate, a napkin and a sandwich.” The caring woman said as she passed the food out to the others.
“Here’s some lemonade.” The painted girl said.
Just as she was pouring the lemonade, Elroy J. Catt walked up and said “Meow.” Which is cat language for “And here’s a lizard.”
Dropping the lizard from his mouth Elroy thought, “This lizard should easily feed the alien midgets, I am sure that I will be invited to all future picnics.”
The lizard, happy to be free of Elroy’s teeth, made a mad dash straight for Cletus which resulted in Cletus letting out a scream that caused the neighbors to head for their storm pits, jumping into the air, spinning around and flying onto the back of the big weird guys pickup truck.
Seeing that Cletus was not going to provide shelter for him (or her) the lizard made a mad dash for the caring woman.
As it ran up her leg she began screaming like a mix of the former Alabama strength coach and Ed Ogeron.
“Aaaabbbbaaa dooooba doobbaaa goooo.” She shouted at the top of her lungs as she erupted into the high velocity ricochet panic which resulted in her knocking the lemonade into the air and drenching the painted girl who tumbled into a gardenia bush.
“@***$^%^%@!!!!??>$!” Shouted the painted girl or the gardenia bush, we’re not sure which.
Amused by all of the commotion, Ebenezer, Elroy and the lizard exchanged high fives.
They all three sat down on the blanket to enjoy what was left of the sandwiches, and cake.
“Meow.” Said Elroy, which is cat language for “If only that dingbat hadn’t wasted all the lemonade.”
“Yep.” Said Ebenezer.
“Yep” Agreed the lizard.
After they had finished, Elroy looked at the lizard and said “Meow.” Which is cat language for “Okay you get the woman out of the tree, I’ll get the girl out of the bush, and Ebenezer can get his brother out of the truck.”
“Why?” Asked Ebenezer.
“Good question.” The lizard responded. “If we leave them alone they will come out on their own.”
“Meow.” Said Elroy, which is cat language for “You’re both absolutely right. Let’s just enjoy this beautiful sunset.”
So there among the cursing gardenia bush, the moaning truck and the gibberish tree, the three new friends watched as the sun set on a beautiful day.
Tune in next time when we hear Elroy J. Catt say “Meow.” Which is cat language for “Hey big weird guy, it’s been three days, you might want to get the chainsaw and get her out of the tree. My food bowl is almost low and I’m starving.”
