Today we are joined by Cletus McSschnitzelheimer the world renowned explorer, archeologist, and skee ball champion.
We pause on our journey for Cletus to point out Crazy A’s Trading Post, a place that claimed to have everything you need for a trip through Nanaland and also to Aunt-Anitaca.
Cletus notices there is nothing in Crazy A’s Trading Post worthy of trading a used stick of gum for.
So we press on with our journey.
We travel to the Bridge of moderate anxiety. Where Cletus stops to examine what could be a large saltwater crocodile or maybe a psychotic crawfish.
Traveling onward we come to Marsupial Island which is so named because of an Opossum that washed up on the shore once.
While on Marsupial Island, Cletus examines some of the flora and fauna or else he is answering natures call, I’m really not sure here.
He carefully makes his way through the thick undergrowth to look at abnormalities in vegetation.
Is that kale? He asks himself, but after tasting it he is thankful it is only poison oak.
Seeing a tree he tastes the bark and gives the tree a big hug thanking it for being a tree and for him not being a beaver.
Cletus stops all movement and points out a mediocre termite mound with obvious indoor plumbing.
“Termites are very innovative insects.” He says.
This odd tree has grown into the shape of a wooden chair, he points out to all the members of our group, or to me, just me, yeah our group is just him and me. Not really a group I guess just one smart individual and one ignorant camera man.
He pauses and thoughtfully looks at a washed out dam that once connected Marsupial Island with the mainland of Aunt-Anitaca. He just imagines what it would be like if the builder of the dam knew his head from an elbow.
Next we move on to the bridge of Multicolors and Dread. Thus named because the builder dreaded building it and it has been painted multicolors during the course of it’s existence. It used to be called Hey Idjut Don’t Fall In, until it was rebuilt in 1902 or 2020 give or take a millennium or two.
Cletus pauses on the bridge in order to do an “action shot” and also to avoid losing his balance.
Cletus looks carefully into the water for signs of crocs, gators, snakes, trolls, fish, nuclear submarines and possibly a ham sandwich as he crosses the bridge.
At long last after miles and miles of….. okay feet and feet of creaking danger, Cletus arrives in Aunt-Anitaca.
Realizing there really isn’t anything there noteworthy, he now understands why Crazy A’s Trading Post had nothing but a tarp, a broken lawnmower, two cans of Vienna sausages, and a map to “Anywhere but here”.
On the way back we come across the tomb of the Unknown Wombat. Apparently there are absolutely no wombats in Alabama. If one did get buried here it wouldn’t be unknown… or not.
Leading the way, Cletus bravely suggests that we enter the tomb to see what skeletal remains might await us.
After talking the very gullible cameraman (me) into entering the tomb. Cletus decides that it is in fact way to spidery for him to enter.
“Perhaps later when the place has been sprayed with Raid, I will go inside, but right now I think not.”
Cletus said to me.
So ended our journey as we returned to our base camp in Nanaland.
Cletus McSchnitzelheimer ate a sandwich. I treated three hundred and seventy-two spider bites.
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