Our recent member of the ARBAA (American Redneck Brotherhood Association of America) Prof Smithers Snodley (Phd. MA. MD. PIOA “Okay the PIOA stands for pain in our asses”) asked at our last meeting “What is the value of a human life?”
Now granted when this clown stated in his application, under favorite beer, that he preferred a nice Pinot Noir, we should have known better than to accept him into our fold.
But hey, we are a club of inclusion, not exclusion, just ask Dave and his “wife” Elliot.
“What is the value of a human life?” he asked again. “I’ll tell you what it is.” He said with a sip of his wine. (Yeah he sips wine, from a glass, one of them spindly little glasses that have that long glass part between the part you actually drink from and the bottom of the glass, got one of them there cork screw things too.)
“The value of a human life is an idea.” Snodley said looking around the room.
“The idea that you have political differences, religious differences, status differences, the idea that you are willing to kill to take from someone else, the idea that your country needs to invade another country, the idea that your religion is worth killing others for.” He paused long enough to take a sip from his glass and then continued on. “Thousands of people die each year, not for money, but for an idea. Yes my brethren the value of a human life is simply an idea.”
After Snodley finally shut up, we sat there in silence for a few minutes looking at each other and wishing to hell that Floyd hadn’t of thought the black ball was a licorice jelly bean.
Finally Ray spoke up and said. “The value of a human life is somewheres upwards of thirty eight cents.”
“How do you figure that?” Snodley asked.
“Didn’t they teach you math at that Ivory league university you attended?” Ray asked.
“Math? How pray tell does math figure in to the value of a human life.” Snodley asked.
“Well, figure it this way, a box of twenty forty caliber shells cost me seven dollars and sixty cents.”
“What does that have to do with my original question?” Snodley asked, rolling his eyes.
Well you figure seven dollars and sixty cents works out to 38 cents apiece and when some idiot gets the idea that he is going to break into my home and do me harm, he is going to be greeted by upwards of 38 cents.”
“What does that have to do with philosophy?” Snodley asked wide eyed.
“The barrel of a gun has caused many a man to change his religion one way or another.” Floyd chimed in.
I don’t think ol Professor Snodley will return to any more ARBAA meetings, and if we ever figure out what uncouth louts are he might not want to.