I love to hunt, it’s one of the greatest ways to get back to your basic self.
Really it is, before we got all “technified”, “stupified”, “lazified” and “sensitized” (just another damn word that tries to make sissies out of everybody), man used to hunt.
We hunted deer, buffalo, goose, duck, sage hen, quail, chukker, moose, elk, bear, rabbit, and a large variety of other animals, and by God we ate them. We used their hides for clothing and shelter, and their bones and claws for jewelry, glue, needles and other things.
Now days, you have all the whiny asses out there hollering about how ‘you shot Bambi’. Or animals are our friends, or animals have rights too.
Well let me tell you jackasses something, first, Bambi was a cartoon, got it.
For those that think animals are our friends, sure maybe the old family dog, but go into the wild and try to discuss home decorating tips with a pack of wolves. Hell ask Timothy Treadwell about it. Oh that’s right you can’t because he was eaten by a grizzly bear.
For all you animal rights activists, when animals start having free elections and quit relying on survival of the fittest, then I will believe in animal rights. Now this don’t mean that I am condoning mis-treatment, or torture to animals, because I’m not….. well except maybe to cats…… naa, I take that back, just because they torture their victims and are emissaries of satan, I don’t agree with torturing cats either.
Getting back to my original thoughts, before the tangent, I love to hunt, but it seems these days there are many people out there that do not know how to hunt.
Here are a few rules, (although not nearly all of them).
1. Never use another hunters stand without their permission. Unless of course there is no way that they will ever find out.
2. Never steal another hunters stand. However, if they have successfully killed more game than you have, it is alright to borrow their seat cushions but only until the end of hunting season.
3. Never urinate in the woods near your stand. Wild animals have a keen sense of smell, and although you might not smell it, they can smell the scent of your urine for miles, depending on the wind. However if you have a guy that kills the most deer and rubs it in at the lodge every evening, peeing near his stand is allowed.
4. Never take a woman hunting with you. There are a few reasons for this, women have to pee more often than men.
Women have a harder time sitting still and doing nothing than we do.
Women tend to wear hairspray and perfume/deodorant that animals can smell.
But the biggest reason is that if she kills a bigger animal than you do, you will never hear the end of it.
5. Drinking and firearms do not go together, as a survivor of several ‘Turkey Shoots’ and two hunting clubs, I can tell you the last thing a drunk needs in his hands is a firearm, especially when everyone else has successfully killed their limit.
6. Always be prepared. This means take the proper supplies, water, rope, a good knife, matches (or a lighter) gloves, extra shirt and toilet paper (yes there are certain leaves you do not want to wipe with).
7. Be prepared to get bloody, if you kill something you have to dress it out, which means gut it and skin it usually, although in the case of deer, most people now days take them to a processor and let them skin it, but they still have to gut them. In my case I get bloody, not so much because I kill something, but because I usually wind up in the middle of a briar patch somewhere, or from falling off a bluff.
8. Sight in your rifle, one shot, should result in one kill. Don’t make the animal suffer, take it quickly, granted a gunshot is far more humane than being eaten alive by a pack of wolves, coyotes, grizzlies, ferrets, or any other animal, but still always try to kill it quickly. A rifle that is well sighted in, means usually one shot does the job. Although I have regrettably made a few trees and one fence post needlessly suffer, during some of my hunting trips.
The trees recovered nicely, but I am sure they were stressed.
The fence post was never the same again.
9. Never kill more than you need, if you find that you have taken more game than you want, give it to a needy family, I am sure there are some out there that would gladly accept some venison or other wild game, or you could send it to me, I seem to have been in a dry spell for the last thirty some odd years.
10. Make sure of what you are shooting and what is behind it. I’ve seen so many people who thought they were shooting a deer and ended the life of Farmer Jones’ cow, sure the steaks are bigger, but Farmer Jones will probably miss his cow, and worse he may not let you hunt on his property anymore.
11. Make sure you have written permission from the landowner, before you hunt any part of their land. It also helps to make sure of who the land owner is. Trust me on that last one, it’s hard to explain to someone who owns the land that they gave you permission to hunt it, when you have never actually met them.
12. Keep up with the laws, they change year to year. It used to be if you shot a deer you had the right to collect it if it ran onto someone elses land before it died. Now you must have permission to cross anyone elses land for any reason what-so-ever. In Alabama, it is also illegal to take a deer alive or dead from water. It is illegal to shoot from the road, or even near the road, and trust me on this one, shooting from your truck in the middle of the night is highly illegal. ( I personally have never done this, but I can’t speak for my redneck-er friends).
Seriously though, when you hunt, use common sense. Be Safe.
Always keep up with the game laws and the seasons as they vary state to state.
Always respect the land and the land owner as you would want yourself and your property to be respected.
Teach your kids to hunt, because one day with the way this country is going, they may have to in order to survive.
For more on hunting in Alabama click here