I Hate Buick Regals.

Now not the old classic Regals but, no wait a minute, I hate the old classic Buick Regals also, the old Rivieras I liked but those freaking Regals, hate them.

My hate for them has really increased since they went to front wheel drive with those freaking sideways v-6 engines.
What kind of sick son of a bitch come up with that shit?

Today I had to put a water pump on my old lady’s Buick Regal. It’s a 1998 model with the 3800 Series II engine.
It sucks.
There is not enough room in the engine compartment to work on the thing, but after about twenty minutes with a cutting torch I was able to get started replacing that water pump.
Just kidding.
So if you want to replace the water pump on a 1998 Buick Regal, okay let me clarify that if you want to replace it you are a sick individual, however if you find yourself having to replace the water pump here are some directions.
Step one get lots of beer or anything else that helps to settle your nerves because you will need it.

You will need an 8mm, 10mm,  and 13mm socket and a small ratchet 1/4 inch is what I used, and a small extension.
You will also need a large ratchet or breaker bar and a 15 mm socket.

Step 1. is to open the hood.

Step 2. Drink a beer and think about it a while.

Step 3.   Using the large ratchet and 15mm socket release the tension on the idler pulley by pulling it toward the rear of the engine compartment and downward. 

While holding the ratchet, remove the belt (you will probably have to put your beer down for this or you will spill it like I did).
Once the belt is out of the way go to step 4.

Step 4.  Using the 8mm socket and small ratchet (you will not be able to use the extension on these unless you actually do remove the fender well) remove the four bolts from the water pump pulley and slide the pulley off.

Step 5. Using the 10mm socket you can now remove the four smaller bolts around the water pump.

Step 6. Drink a beer and gripe a few minutes about ripping the hide off your knuckles because there is no freaking room for anyone with actual hands to get them in between the engine and fender well.

Step 7. This is where the fun starts. There are four long 13mm bolts that you have to remove as well. The first three are easy but the last one is right behind the power steering pump pulley. So remove the first three and then go to step 8.

Step 8. Drink a beer and cuss, at this point profanity is no longer an option but a mandate.

Step 9. Using the small ratchet, and small extension you can wiggle a 13mm socket onto the two bolts that hold the power steering pump onto the engine block.
These bolts are right behind the pulley and you have to go through the holes in the power steering pulley to get to them, it is a tight fit and a pain in the butt as well as hands and arms, but it is possible.
The way I did it is I removed the top bolt completely and loosened the bottom bolt up enough that I could slide the power steering pump away from the block about 1/2 of an inch and push it down enough to get to the last bolt in the water pump.

Step 10. Remove the last water pump bolt.

You may have to bump the water pump to get it to come away from the engine.

Step 11. Clean all the old gasket material off the engine.

Step 12. I used a little bit of gasket sealant and applied the gasket to the pump then put a little bit of sealant on the engine side of the gasket as well then stuck it on the motor.

To finish the install just go from step 10 back to step 1.

Step 13. Fill radiator with proper amount of Antifreeze and water, down here a 70-30 water to antifreeze mix is enough (although I use a 50-50 mix) Cooler climates will require more antifreeze.

Step 14. Drink a beer, smoke a joint, jump up and down, or crap your pants cause you’re so freaking happy to be done with that mess.

Step 15. Trade the 1998 Buick Regal for a 1972 Ford Maverick, you will get a better car that is easier to work on. Not to mention parts are not nearly as high.

This post was brought to you by the fine folks at Budweiser, Advance Auto Parts, Red Man Chewing Tobacco and Bass Pro Shops

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