Elroy J. Catt and the Old Lawnmower.

It was a typical Spring day as the big weird guy and the loud boy were out side working in the yard. Elroy J. Catt watched curiously as they walked around picking up branches and moving things around.

“Meow?” Which is cat language for “What in the ever loving blue eyed world are you two clowns doing?”  Asked Elroy J. Catt, looking up at the big weird guy.

“We are trying to clean up the yard some so we can mow the grass.” The big weird guy replied. “And we are not clowns.”

“Meow?” Which is cat language for “Why the grass will only grow back and more branches will  fall from the tree?” Elroy asked.

“I know but if we leave everything piled up the place will look like a haunted and deserted house from a Rob Zombie movie.” The big weird guy responded.

“Meow.” Which is cat language for “okay.” Elroy said as he turned and walked across the yard.

Seeing Spookie Marie Moosebaum sitting on the bannister, Elroy walked up and said, “Hello, Spookie.”

To which Spookie replied, “Ugh. Are you still here? Why haven’t they taken you to the pound yet?”

“Because the big weird guy likes me.” Elroy said.

“Well looks like I am going to have to poop in his shoe.” Spookie replied.

“So you want to play chase or tag or something?” Elroy asked.

“I would rather eat turnip greens than play tag or chase.” Spookie said.

“Turnip Greens? I hate turnip greens.” Elroy said.

“Good then please leave now. I have shoe pooping to do.” Spookie said.

“Well. Okay.” Replied Elroy as he turned and walked away.

Elroy chased a grasshopper, then a butterfly, a leaf, the loud boy, and a soccer ball as the big weird guy worked on the yard.
After the big weird guy quit yelling at the loud boy and finished cleaning up the yard, he went over to the old riding lawnmower and tried to get it to crank. Alas, it would not start.

“Stupid lawnmower.” The big weird guy shouted. “Why do you do this to me lawn mowing gods?”

“Now we will just have to use the push mower.” Said the loud boy.

“I guess. You get the mower and I’ll get the weed eater and we will get this mess knocked out.” Said the big weird guy.

Since Elroy did not like the noise from the lawnmower nor the weed eater nor the loud boy he walked back inside the house and grabbed his ear muffs and went back outside to watch the big weird guy try to avoid cutting down the caring woman’s flowers. 

As the big weird guy walked around mumbling and attempting to sing while using the weed eater, Elroy J. Catt thanked his lucky stars that he received the ear muffs for Christmas.

After completion of the lawn work the caring woman walked outside to critique the big weird guy and loud boy’s work.

“Why didn’t you use the riding mower?” The caring woman asked.

“It won’t run.” The big weird guy replied.

“Can you fix it?” The caring woman asked.

“I might be able to but I am really tired of spending money on that thing. I figure I will buy a new one as soon as I can.” The big weird guy responded.

“Meow?” Which is cat language for “What are you going to do with that hunk of scrap metal?” Asked Elroy J. Catt.

“Well I guess we will have to haul it off for scrap iron, there aint much more that it could be used for.” Said the big weird guy as he walked into the house to get some water.

“Hey Dad!” It was the loud boy. “Elroy has found a new use for the lawnmower.”

The big weird guy looked outside at the lawnmower and said “Well I guess he has.”

“Meow.” Said Elroy. Which is cat language for “It makes a pretty good sleeping perch too.”

The End….. For Now.

Tune in next time when we hear Elroy J. Catt say, “Meow!” Which is cat language for “Wow the big weird guys shoes sure do stink.”

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