It was a typical Saturday morning, the sun had not yet risen as Elroy J. Catt watched the big weird guy stumbling about through the house mumbling and muttering to himself.
“Meow?” Said Elroy to the big weird guy. Which is cat language for “Hey! You going to put some food in my bowl or what?”
“I already have.” The big weird guy responded as he pointed to the bowl.
“Meow.” Said Elroy. Which is cat language for “That is not the food that I want this morning. There are no scrambled eggs, bacon, grits, nor sausage in that bowl and we are out of maple syrup.”
“You don’t even like maple syrup.” The big weird guy replied.
“Meow.” Elroy responded. Which is cat language for “So that still does not change the fact that we are out of maple syrup.”
“I guess not.” Said the big weird guy as he reached for his shoes.
“What’s that smell?” The big weird guy asked, looking at his shoe. “Is that Poop? WHO POOPED IN MY SHOE?”
“Meow.” Elroy said. Which is cat language for “Well it was not me, so I guess we will have to figure out whether it was the loud boy, the caring woman, Spookie Marie Moosebaum, or any number of those dogs outside.”
“I guess you are right, Elroy.” Said the big weird guy.
“Ugh! It’s squishy.” The big weird guy said as he tied his shoe laces.
“Meow. Gag.” Elroy said. Which is cat language for “Oh, good grief. You didn’t clean your shoe and still put it on. That is so gross. Gag.”
“Yeah cleaning it out would have made good sense.” The big weird guy said.
Elroy and the big weird guy began searching for clues.
Elroy walked out to the fence where the dogs were standing and asked. “Did any of you guys poop in the big weird guys shoe?”
Sam, the leader of the dogs looked around at the other dogs for a minute and said. “Elroy, you know we are out here in the pen so there is no way that we could poop in the weird guys shoes unless he left them out here.”
“That is exactly what I thought but we are trying to eliminate all suspects as we go along.” Elroy responded.
“I understand.” Sam said with a nod of his head. Then he asked “Why don’t you check with that other cat, Spookie Marie Moosebaum?”
“Oh, we will. Right now we are just covering all bases.” Elroy replied.
“Gotcha!” Sam said. “Well good luck Elroy.”
“Thanks Sam.” Elroy said as he turned and walked back into the house.
When Elroy arrived back inside his mind was running rampant with questions. Then he saw his food bowl and decided he had more important things to do.
After eating, Elroy walked around through the house trying to gather clues and avoid the big weird guy with his now super stinky foot and shoe.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Asked a voice from the dark corner of the living room.
Elroy turned and saw Spookie Marie Moosebaum standing over by the corner shelf.
“I am looking for clues to help the big weird guy find out who pooped in his shoe.” Elroy said.
“Clues? Ha! What kind of clues are you going to find you crosseyeded goofball.” Spookie asked in a mocking tone.
“I’ll solve this case.” Proclaimed Elroy. “And I am not crosseyeded.”
“Yes you are.” Spookie said.
“No I am not.” Elroy replied.
“All the other animals say that you are crosseyeded.” Spookie said.
“They do not.” Elroy responded.
“Yes they do.” Spookie said hatefully.
“Which ones?” Asked Elroy.
“Well, the dogs joke about it. The big weird guys said he was arguing with a weasel and a moose that said you are crosseyeded.”
“There are no moose anywhere around here.” Elroy said.
“There is a whole family of mooses a little North of here.” Spookie laughed.
“Ehh, what do mooses know anyway? All they do is wander around bumping into things, and stirring up trouble.” Elroy said. “Besides I was looking up at the camera.”
Elroy started to walk away but stopped suddenly and turned to Spookie Marie Moosebaum and said. “The dogs asked me to ask you if you would like to go to dinner this evening at their place. Just you and them.”
“Ha, see even the dogs prefer to have me for dinner than they do you.” Spookie mocked.
“Yes. Yes they do.” Elroy said as he walked away.
Three days after the sun came up the loud boy finally woke up and got out of his bed.
Elroy greeted him in the hallway. “Meow?” asked Elroy. Which is cat language for “Good Grief Charlie Brown! You finally woke up, sunrise was three days ago, did you poop in the big weird guys shoe?”
The loud boy stared blankly into space and said. “I aint pooped in nobody’s shoe.” Then he laughed and walked away.
Hearing the loud boy laughing in the hallway the caring woman finally got up and walked into the hall. “What are all these questions?” She asked.
“Meow.” Replied Elroy. Which is cat language for “Well, someone pooped in the big weird guys shoe and now he is walking around with super stinky feet and he is trying to figure out who the culprit was that placed the big squishy stink bomb in his foot wear.”
“Well it wasn’t me.” The caring woman said. “Wait did you say he had stinky feet now? Did he not clean the shoe out?”
“Meow.” Said Elroy. Which is cat language for “Yep stuck his foot right in there on top of it.”
“Ugh!” Said the caring woman as she gagged.
I’m going to solve this case if it takes a lifetime, or the next twenty three minutes, whichever comes first. Elroy thought to himself.
The big weird guy stink footed it back into the house and looked at Elroy.
“Well did you figure it out?” He asked.
“Meow.” Elroy replied. Which is cat language for “After interviewing suspects and observing their pooping habits, I have deduced that Spookie Marie Moosebaum is the culprit.”
“You deduced that?” Whiffed Spookie. “I told you that I was going to do that.”
“Yes but this made it fun.”
“Wait you observed our pooping habits?” The loud boy asked.
But Elroy J. Catt did not answer the loud boy for he had solved the case and decided it was time to take a nap.
Join us next time when we hear the caring woman say to the big weird guy, “Nuh uh, you aint coming in this house with them nasty stinking feet!”