We enter the Oval Office to hear Barack Obama discussing his re-election plans with Joe Biden and a select few of his supporters.
Obama – This whole re-election thing is really stressing me out. Why can’t congress just appoint me president for life.
Biden – I don’t think that will go over to well, your holiness.
Obama – Why what do you mean.
Biden – Well if you noticed most of your supporters have been voted out of office and the remaining ones are laying low so that they don’t get kicked out of office either.
Obama – Well call up Hollywood and get some stars behind me. Where is Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at these days?
Biden – Have you seen their box office receipts lately boss?
Obama – No.
Biden – Neither has anyone else.
Obama – What about George Clooney?
Biden – His last two movies tanked also boss.
Obama – What about Oprah?
Biden – Remember the fight she and Michelle had?
Obama – That wasn’t pretty at all.
Biden – Like two pit bulls fighting over a ham-hock.
Obama – JOE! One of those is the most powerful lady in the world and the other is my wife that you are talking about.
Biden – Actually I believe most of America is hoping for a change this coming election, chieferooni.
Obama – Why do you say that?
Biden – Because they are blaming you for the latest recession problems.
Obama – You mean the second coming of Bush’s financial mess?
Biden – Well all of the wall street blue chipper stock traders are claiming you are like the bad guy at the party.
Obama – What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Biden – They say you double dipped their chips.
Obama – Horrible pun number one.
Biden – It wasn’t me it was the narrator.
Obama – Gee whiz. Okay well can I use Airforce 1 to campaign in?
Biden – I guess you can, but remember there is only 50 states.
Obama – Not 57?
Biden – No.
Obama – What if we make up some extra states?
Biden – You did that already, it probably won’t work again. The American people are better informed now since your last campaign.
Obama – Damn that Google.
Biden – Yeah. Damn Google, damn him to hell. Who is Google anyhow?
Obama – Some dude that made up a bunch of crap on the internet.
Biden – Maybe we can get his support.
Obama – I doubt it, he is always talking bad about me.
Biden – Maybe we should censor him.
Obama – Ed Begley Jr.?
Biden – Where?
Obama – No I meant what do you think about him?
Barney Frank – I think he’s a dream. If you go for those roguish Hollywood types.
Biden – I thought he always played a lot of nerdy characters?
Barney Frank – Yes, but he is tall and blonde and wears glasses and reminds me of Alexander Skarsgard.
Obama – What the hell? He looks nothing like Alexander Skarsgard.
Barney – Hmmph, after a few mai-tais every one looks like Alexander Skarsgard to me.
Obama – Okay this isn’t going down the path I wanted.
Barney Frank – I’ll go down any path as long as Alexander Skarsgard is there.
Biden – Hey Barney I just saw Alexander Skarsgard and Ashton Kutcher walking down the sidewalk.
Obama – Where did that draft come from? Where did Barney go?
Biden – We have to think of a new campaign slogan to improve your image.
Obama – Well we had Hope and Change last time.
Biden – Yeah and I’m afraid there will be a change this time although I hope not.
Obama – How about To err is human, to forgive is divine.
Biden – No good because the Pope is not too popular these days.
Obama – That was Alexander Pope, not the pope.
Biden – How about A fool and his money are soon parted?
Obama – No most of the fools have already been separated from their money. How about It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Nancy Pelosi – How about this? (She hands Obama a piece of paper with some words scribbled on it).
Obama – I like it.
Biden – That is great.
Obama – Great let’s work it up into a campaign ad.
Tune in next time when we hear;
Biden – Bosserooni the new ad is running now.
Official sounding person on the television – Did you know that it costs over one billion dollars for the paperwork, staff changes, ceremonies and other stuff that is involved in electing a new president.
Re-elect Barack Obama, because we can re-use the stationary.
Obama – I love it.