We enter the Oval Office to see that the presidential desk has been removed and has been replaced with a round table, upon which sits a throne.
Hillary – “Oh Great Messiah, why did you put this round table in here?”
Obama – “Because uh, be uh cause, um, I uh, read um it in a uhhhhh hmmm, ah I uh…….”
Schumer – “Dammit Joe! You unplugged the teleprompter again.”
Biden – “Whooopsie! Here ya go bossy marossy.”
Obama – “The reason for the round table is because King Arthur had one and he treated all of his knights as equal.”
Pelosi – “Then tell us King Obama, why is your throne on top of the table?”
Obama – “I said you were all equal, I didn’t say you were equal to me.”
All the worshippers together – “Of course!”
Hillary – “But Majesty, why does your throne have a handle and a toilet paper holder?”
Obama – “Because sometimes when I am sitting on my throne, I do my best thinking.”
Biden – “I never knew you had a lisp.”
Obama – “ I don’t have a lisp. What makes you say that?”
Biden – “ Sorry there Flapjack, I thought you meant when you were sitting on your throne you did your best stinking.”
Obama – “Biden! Closet! NOW!”
Joe Biden walks into that closet and pulls the door closed behind him.
Obama – “What I mean is that when I am up here, my mind goes clear.”
Hillary – “Well I guess that would explain your crappy leadership.”
Obama – “Hillary! Closet with Biden! NOW!”
Hillary Clinton walks into the closet – “Make room Joe.”
Obama – “Any one else got something to say?”
Barney Frank – “Oh no sir. We love how you and your politics smell.”
Obama – “Okay let’s get down to business.”
Pelosi – “I thought you would never ask.”
Obama – Ugh! Nancy No! Not that kind of Business!”
Biden in the closet to Hillary – “Quick lock the door.”
Hillary – “Joe, I’m a married woman.”
Biden – “Not for that. I just don’t want him to send Ninny Peelosely in here again.”
Hillary – ‘Click’
Hillary - “Well you do know that Bill and I have an open relationship.”
Biden – “Okay, please unlock the door.”
Hillary – “Sorry Joe, but your ass is mine now.”
Biden – “Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiigggghhhhhh!
Obama – “Simmer down in there you two, or else I will send Frank in there with you.”
Schumer –“Some people just have no respect for others.”
Obama – “Okay folks we have to get something going here, our popularity has dropped, our poll numbers are the lowest they have ever been, Oprah doesn’t want Michelle or myself on her show anymore, the enemy has won a senate seat in what used to be a liberal stronghold, my hemorrhoids are acting up and the only ones that seem to love us now are a select few of the college kids, and inmates. We have got to pull ourselves out of the crapper here folks.”
Biden from the closet – “You could start by getting your ass off the crapper.”
Obama – “Biden one more time and I am sending you to the republicans. They will eat you alive.”
Biden – “Taters! What the hell do you think is happening to me in here? Hillary stop that you are married!”
Obama – “Okay, here’s the plan, lets get rolling on healthcare, get the unions behind us, tell everyone we’re giving out tax cuts, lower the legal voting age to 14……..
Schumer – “Sir if we lower the legal voting age to 14 Optimus Prime would be elected instead of one of us.”
Obama – “You’re right. Wait by one of us you mean me? Right Chuckie?”
Schumer – “Oh definitely, sire.”
Obama – “Okay we lower the voting age and the drinking age, that way we can get them drunk and they will re-elect all of us. Now let’s also grant amnesty to all the illegal aliens walking around here, except the Chinese.”
Schumer – “Why not the Chinese?”
Obama – “Because they already own most of the country.”
Pelosi – “Sir if we lower the drinking age, and we’re going to have a bunch of drunk teenagers and with teenage hormones you know what that means?”
Obama – “They will be too drunk to vote?”
Pelosi – “No sir, they will be too busy to vote.”
Frank - “And then we will have a lot of teenage pregnancies.”
Obama – “See that’s great cause they will have to vote for us then.”
Schumer – “How do you figure?”
Obama – “Cause the republicans are anti abortion.”
Everyone all together – “Oh okay.”
Obama – “Now any other questions?”
Schumer – “Uh yes sir.”
Obama – “What is it Chuck?”
Schumer – “Could we get a courtesy flush?”
Obama – “Okay everyone out.”
Tune in next time when we hear Joe Biden say to Hillary – “You know when you pulled that cigar out of your purse I never expected it to go there.”
Hillary – “I’m not Bill, now shut up and give me a light.”
