About Gary

Hunter, Fisherman, Wood Worker, Author, Artist, Songwriter, and All Around Great Guy.

Elroy J. Catt and a Home For Ever.

The night was cold and dark as Elroy J. Catt walked down the street. Lucky for him the rain had stopped and he was not soaked.
Up ahead he saw lights, lots and lots of lights, he walked toward the bright twinkling lights and saw that someone had decorated for Christmas. 
“What in the world?” He thought to himself. “It’s just now the night after Halloween.”
As he neared the house with all of the lights he saw another cat walking around in the yard.
“Perhaps that cat will be my friend.” Said Elroy.
Little did Elroy know the other cat was none other than Spookie Marie Moosebaum, she lived in the house, with the big weird guy, the caring woman and the loud boy.
“Hi.” Said Elroy.
“Hello stray cat.” Said Spookie nonchalantly.
“Do you live here?” Asked Elroy.
“Yes, now please leave.” Said Spookie.
“Do you have some food you can spare?” Elroy asked.
“Do I look like a grocery store to you?” Spookie responded snottily.
“No. You look like another cat.” Said Elroy.
Unbeknownst to Elroy, the big weird guy was watching Spookie on the security cameras he had recently installed.
All he could see of Elroy was his eyes glowing in the cameras from under his truck. Thinking it was the fox that the big weird guy and the loud boy had seen earlier that day, coming to try to eat Spookie, the big weird guy jumped up and ran outside yelling chasing Elroy away.
“Dang!” Exclaimed Elroy. “I guess I will have to scavenge the other people’s garbage cans again.”
Elroy went about his business, carefully listening to the sounds of the night, for he too knew of the fox, as well as coyotes who loved to eat unsuspecting cats.
He crept up to the garbage can and leaped onto the edge of it to see if there was anything in it he could eat.
Finding an old ham bone with some meat left on it, Elroy happily began eating.
In the distance he heard the yelping cry of the coyotes as they hunted in the woods behind him. 
He knew they were still far away but still the hair bristled on his back, “I better find some place high so that they can’t eat me.” He said to himself.
The next evening Elroy was walking down the same street when once again he saw Spookie Marie Moosebaum walking in her yard.
“Hello grocery store.” He said with a smile.
“Ugh! You again.” Said Spookie.
“Yes.” Elroy replied it is me. “Be careful wandering about for their are coyotes in the woods behind your house.”
“Coyotes do not bother me, I am faster and I have the big weird guy and the loud boy to scare them away.” Spookie smugly responded.
“I don’t have anyone.” Said Elroy.
“Then I guess you are the one that should be careful.” Spookie said as she turned and walked toward the front door of the house.
It was at that time the big weird guy came outside and chased Elroy away once again.
“Dad, that is just another cat and he seems to be friendly.” Said the loud boy.
“We don’t need no more stinking cats around here.” Said the big weird guy.
“Hmmph.” Said Spookie as she watched Elroy run down the street fleeing from the big weird guy.
The following night Elroy made his way back to the house with all the lights and as he walked toward a truck parked in the drive, he saw the big weird guy putting something down in front of the steps.
“What is he doing?” Elroy asked himself.
“Is that what I think it is?” He questioned.
“That is tuna. I remember Tuna.” He said to himself.
“Alright cat, you can quit sneaking around and come and get some food.” The big weird guy said as he sat down on the steps.
Elroy walked up and looked at the bowl of tuna and looked over at the big weird guy. “Is this a trap?” he asked himself.
But whether it was a trap or not the smell of tuna was too strong for Elroy to resist, so he went over and began eating.
The big weird guy sat there watching him and then said aloud, “It’s too close to Christmas and it is too cold for anyone or anything to be stuck out here with out any food.”
Elroy ate until he could eat no more, looked at the big weird guy and said, “Meow” which is cat language for “Thank you, but it could use a little bit of pepper and maybe just a touch of salt.”
“You’re welcome and I’ll try to remember that.” Said the big weird guy.
Elroy walked away and found himself a nice cozy spot in a drain pipe to sleep through the night.
The next night Elroy walked back by the house with the lights and another smell caught his attention.
“Salmon” he said to himself as he walked up the drive to find a bowl with some salmon cat food in it.
Elroy ate the food and walked away to his cozy spot to sleep again.
As he slept he dreamed of a place where people would love him and let him inside their house, so that he could climb on them and sleep next them and not have to worry so much about being eaten by coyotes. His dreams would be short lived as a noise woke Elroy from his slumber. A sniffing noise followed by a highpitched growl. Looking around he saw a fox. 
The fox was slowly walking through the grass, sniffing and occasionally giving a growl, the sound it makes when it thinks it’s prey is not in the vicinity.
“She’s tracking the rabbit I smelled earlier.”  Thought Elroy. “Uh oh! That rabbit and I crossed trails so that fox is going to pick up my scent as well.”
Elroy knew he had to do something because his cozy spot had just became compromised. If the fox smelled him, he knew it would be just as liable to come after him as it was to go after the rabbit.
Looking around Elroy saw that the nearest tree was still too far for him to outrun a fox, he knew he would have to fight, but he also knew he could not win.
Fearing the worst, Elroy braced himself for what was about to come, when all of a sudden the fox let out a high pitched yelp and ran back toward the woods behind the houses.
It was the big weird guy with a bb gun in his hands. He was shooting the fox with bbs making him run away.
“Here kitty kitty.” The big weird guy said.
Elroy left the drain pipe and walked toward the big weird guy who put the bb gun down and patted Elroys head.
“Come on cat.” He said. “You can stay here tonight.”
Elroy didn’t know what to think as the big weird guy picked him up and carried him inside to where the caring woman, the loud boy and Spookie Marie Moosebaum were sitting.
“What are you doing?”  The caring woman asked.
“I ran that fox off outside, I thought it was going after the neighbors chickens but I believe it was going after this cat so I burned his rear with a couple of bbs.”
“But why are you bringing that stray cat inside?” The caring woman asked.
“I don’t know.” The big weird guy replied. “It just seemed like the thing to do.”
“Well what are you going to name him?” The caring woman asked.
“I don’t know, we will figure that out later.” The big weird guy said.
Elroy looked up at the big weird guy and said “Meow”, which is cat language for “Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Elroy Jefferson Catt, Esquire.”
“Elroy it is then.” Said the big weird guy. I’m Gary, that there is Cindy and the loud one is Hunter. I reckon you can hang out here if you want to.”
The big weird guy placed Elroy on the floor of the living room and walked over and sat down in a recliner and propped his feet up to watch some football.
Elroy sat in the floor for a moment then walked over to the recliner and hopped up into the big weird guys lap… and threw up.
The big weird guy laughed and gagged a little as he stood up and went to the bathroom to clean himself off.
“That is one strange cat.” He said to himself as he went and picked Elroy up and returned to his seat. “Shucks I reckon I like him.”
“Shucks, I reckon I like you too, big weird guy.” Said Elroy. Which sounded a lot like “Meow.”
And every since that night in November two years ago, Elroy J. Catt has lived with the big weird guy, the caring woman and the loud boy.
Now this is where the story would normally say  The End. But it is not the end, it is merely the beginning. 
Tune in next time when we hear Elroy J. Catt say “Meow.” Which is cat language for “Turnip greens? I hate turnip greens.”

Okay Lets Set those Records Straight

Here are some things I hear being thrown out there that are not correct and frankly have gotten carried away.

Number 1. Fighting for our rights.
No soldier since the Civil War, has fought for your rights or freedoms. The truth is every soldier that has died even then died for some misguided political reasons. But rest assured your rights was not one of those reasons. If they were actually fighting for your rights they would be over here fighting politicians, judges, school boards and home owners associations. Because they trample on your rights more than any enemy we have faced since the revolution.

Number 2. Elected Officials
Politicians are not elected officials. They are elected public servants. They only became officials when activist judges were apppointed to allow their agendas to become laws. Politicians all the way up to the president work for us and need to be reminded of that from time to time.

Number 3. First Responders
Police officers, firefighters and ambulance personnel are not first responders. The person who call the dispatcher is a first responder. The dispatcher is the second and the person called by dispatch is in actuality the third.

Number 4. Hero
The most overused and misused word in the American language next to racist (I will get into that one in a minute).
A hero is some one that faces certain danger or overcomes all odds to succeed or sacrifices themselves for the betterment of those around them.
Bruce Jenner winning the gold in the Olympics kind of made him a hero. Turning himself from a seventy year old man into an eighty year old woman did not.
Someone doing what they should do is not a hero, nor is everyone that puts on a uniform.

Number 5. Racist
The most overused word in America.
By definition a racist is someone showing or feeling discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or believing that a particular race is superior to another.
Not someone who wants people to have to obey the same laws they have to obey.
Not someone who wants to protect our borders.
Not someone who disagrees with a person of a different skin tone over philosophical ideas. Sometimes people just disagree.

Number 6. Court of Law
Most politicians are or were lawyers, therefore when they come up with new laws it is mostly to benefit themselves or their particular interests.
When those laws are enforced by courts containing judges that are appointed by those same politicians the “of Law” part gets watered down a good bit. When judges no longer have to answer to anyone they become part of the problem.

Number 7. Your Rights End Where Mine Begin
No. You still have the same rights, we all do, they do not end, you just cannot use your rights to infringe upon my rights just as I cannot use my rights to infringe upon yours.

That’s all for now.


Elroy A strange Cat.

So this is Elroy J. Cat. He just wandered up one evening and decided that he would take up residence at our house.

He sleeps in strange places. Like on the engine of the Frankenmower.

This is Spooky Marie Moosebaum. She was the only cat here for a while until Elroy showed up.

Spooky is not amused.

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Changing The Fuel Pump On A 1996 F150

If you have to change your fuel pump my first word of advice is take it to a shop.
If you are one of these do it yourself people (idiots) like me then here is a detailed tutorial on how to perform this task.
There are two ways to do this and neither are very good.

The first way is if you have access to a lift and a proper jack you can drop the tank and the procedure should take about 1 hour.

The second way is to remove the truck bed leaving the tank in place.

I went with the second.
Okay so now that  we have established that you are doing it the second way, lets get started with this tutorial.

First you should know that I have a knee that is not co-operating in any shape form or fashion.
So go sprain your knee and that way you can do it just like I did.

Step one – Remove the negative cable from the battery.

Step two – If you have a bedliner remove it from the bed.

Step three – Remove three screws in each of the filler necks. They hold the filler necks to the bed.

Step four – Crawl under the truck and realize that you have the wrong socket for your impact wrench. It requires a 3/4 inch socket.

Step five – Cuss (curse for you proper speaking folks) I found words like motor scooter, mother father, and you son of a biscuit work best.

Step six –  Get the right socket and crawl back under the truck.
Step seven – Remove the six nuts that hold the bed down, be sure to get lots of dirt and dust in your face and eyes.

Step eight –  Unplug the tail light connectors, making sure you get plenty of dirt and debris in your eyes again.

Step nine –  Work the bed back until you have enough room to get to the fuel pump.

Step ten – Unplug the electrical connector that powers the fuel pump.

Step eleven – Remove the fuel lines from the fuel pump. This step requires a special tool and a lot of cussing, unless the fuel lines come loose easily. Mine did not.

Step twelve –  Remove the plate that holds the fuel pump in place. Use a non-ferrous punch or chisel to do this so you avoid sparks.

Step thirteen – Remove the fuel pump assembly from the tank.

Step fourteen – Once you have removed the fuel pump assembly, remove the float assembly from the fuel pump.

Step fifteen – The new fuel pump comes with a little plastic wedge place it around one of the lines and using a flat head screw driver, gently pry the lines out of the old fuel pump.

Step sixteen – Cut the wires to the fuel pump (red and black wires) and toss that sucker. Be sure not to cut your sending unit wires (smaller yellow and brown wires).

Step seventeen – Insert the tubes into the new fuel pump, may have to push hard to get them in.

Step eighteen – Connect the fuel pump wires with the butt splices that should have came with your new fuel pump.

Step nineteen – Reattach the float assembly to the new pump.

Step twenty – Put your gasket (should have came with the new pump) on the assembly and work it toward the top.

Step twenty one – Make sure to put the new strainer on the bottom of the fuel pump.

Step twenty two – Put the fuel pump assembly back into the tank. There are two tabs you must line up to do this. Make sure your gasket is where it needs to be.

Step twenty three – Reinstall the clamp ring that holds the fuel pump assembly in place.

Step twenty four – Reinstall the fuel lines and plug the wiring harness back together.

Step twenty five – Reinstall your battery cable and make sure your fuel pump is working.

Step twenty six – If fuel pump is working reinstall the bed of the truck.

Step twenty seven – Once you have the bed of the truck installed and all the connectors hooked back up, and the filler tubes back in place and screwed down, drink a cold beer.

Step twenty eight – Figure out how much this is worth to you to have to do again and then next time you need to have this done, hire someone.



One Fine Day In The Oval Office

Friday 11:00 Eastern Time

We enter the Oval Office to see a despondent Joe Biden talking to a morose Barack Obama, when Donald Trump walks into the room.

Donald Trump: Hey guys, YOU’RE FIRED!

And conservatives lived happily ever after.

The End.

Donald you’re doing it wrong. At least this part.

Trumps Inauguration and Why I Think He Is Doing It Wrong.

Make America Great Again

The media is making a big deal out of all these A-list or so called A-list performers that are turning President Elect Trump down as far as performing at his inauguration.
I understand why some of them are, they are liberals and have always been so what’s the big deal, I would not expect them to change their views for someone they do not support.
I wouldn’t. If I were a musician and had been invited I would not have appeared at Obama’s nor Clinton’s inaugurations, because of my personal beliefs. 
I may not support these musicians or in some cases auto tune specialists views but I can respect the fact that they are sticking to their guns (or no guns).
In my humble deplorable opinion I think P-E  Trumps should send people out to bars and conventions, state fairs, city fests and such, find the bands or performers who are trying to make it big, the unknowns (like the ones that voted for him), the ones who haven’t sold their beliefs out to the recording industry yet. Use them.
There would be plenty of very talented guys and girls that would be willing to play for him just to get their names out there.
Then not only would there be good music but another boost to Trumps ego would be that he helped get these people noticed.
I know some people might think they would crash and burn on a big stage like that but has anyone been paying attention to any of the Super Bowl half time shows lately? They have all sucked.
Since he has gotten to the top and won the race it seems as though his team has been reaching out the same way Hillary’s team did before the election.
Screw that!
It wasn’t the A-list that got you elected Donald. It was the unknowns, working class, deplorables, the little people that had no voices in the media or government.
You called on us to help you win the election, why now can you not call on us to help you with your inauguration?

Make America Great Again.

It’s Time To Make America Great Again.

A lot of folks look at the election as a Republican victory and Democrat loss. But let’s face the facts. Last nights elections was not about Republicans and Democrats, it was about America and putting America first. Some folks don’t like Trump, well neither do the establishment Republicans or Democrats.

Last nights elections was about a movement and a message.
We the people are tired of establishment politics.

We are tired of politicians pandering for out votes only to forget all about us as soon as a lobbyist walks in the room with a check in his or her hand.

We are tired of business as usual in Washington D.C..

We are tired of being reminded that if we disagree with someone it’s not about the issue, it’s about race, religion, sexual preference, national origin or anything other than the issue.

We are tired of working and paying taxes only to watch politicians give our money away to other countries (some that want us dead) only to watch people sleep in the streets and go hungry here.

We are tired of our veterans being treated like illegal immigrants and illegal immigrants being treated like heroes.

We are tired of being punished for being successful and watching people be rewarded for not trying.

We are tired of political correctness, especially when it is in the face of our own demise.
Think about this, the Clinton’s, the Obama’s and the Bush’s are all globalists, that means they put the U.N. first and America last.
For the last 28 years a global agenda has been being pushed on us without our approval and for some without our knowledge.
While we were caught up in the battle of the Rs vs the Ds America was being sold to the highest bidder.

We took America back.

We notified both parties that we are not going to take it anymore.
Politicians are elected public servants, not elected officials.

They answer to us, not the other way around.
It is up to us to hold them accountable.

Trump can only do so much, he will have to fight uphill against both parties.

Trump may have placed an R in front of his name for this election but make no mistake about it, he is as close to a third party candidate as we could get.

I’m not going to say that Trump is the savior of America, because he isn’t, but he is a step in the right direction.

We need to put petty differences aside and vote and if necessary fight to put America and Americans first.

That means roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty, stand up for your fellow man, help your neighbor, take responsibility for yourself.
Look at the big picture, the future not just about the here and now.

Now let’s hope Trump lives up to his promises and hold him accountable if he doesn’t.

God Bless America. Because we need it.


It’s That Time Again

Here in the South, the milky way starts showing up in the early part of June until late October. So I naturally, on moonless nights break out the old camera and try to capture pictures of it.
Now I’m not great, and I am sure if I practiced with Photoshop and or Lightroom I could make these pictures better but the truth is, why would I want to post pictures that have been edited.
These pictures are what I see when I photograph the night sky here in Shelby Alabama.


Light Outdoors

The first picture is a higher iso about 6400 with a shutter speed of 20 seconds the neighbors stupid streetlight washes out alot of the image but you can faintly see the milky way.


Light Outdoors

The above picture is 1600 iso and 20 second shutter speed the brownish color on the trees is the result of the neighbors street light, the blue and green colors are a result of my fountain in the front yard.


Light Outdoors

Same setting as before. The camera I am using is a NIkon D3300 with the 18-55 kit lens attached.


Light Outdoors

My goal is to eventually purchase a 12mm 1.8 or less lens and find a good dark sky spot.
Unfortunately here in Alabama dark skies are getting harder and harder to find.


Light Outdoors

So for now I will settle for sitting in my driveway and taking pictures like this.
One thing about it looking at one of the tendrils of our galaxy makes me realize that we are just one tiny speck in a group of trillions of stars and light years of dust clouds.
When you think of how many galaxies there are in our universe, one can’t help but think there is no possible way we are alone.
In our galaxy (even though there is no way to accurately measure it) there is an estimated 4 trillion stars. In all these stars there is an estimated 398 billion solar systems.  So the odds are that there are at least 398 billion planets in the habitual zone of their stars (suns).
Odd are very likely there is other life forms out there and the simple fact they don’t try to communicate with us proves they are probably intelligent.

If you have any thoughts on this I would love to read them in the comment section.




Freakin Jury Duty.

Well crap salad on a Sunday, I have been selected for freaking jury duty. Me, jury duty? What the everloving blue eyed hell?
I feel sorry for anybody that is brought to trial while I am on jury duty. Boom! They’re guilty. Period. Now give me my sammich and let me go home.
Unless it is some big shot that is willing to pay me millions of dollars, then they’re innocent.
Yes sir. I can’t be had but I can be bought.
I have several questions before I can be on stinking jury duty.
Will they serve beer?
Can I record the trial for my blog?
Can I pick the method of execution in a death penalty case?
Do I have to stay awake?
Do I have to wear pants or is it acceptable to wear just my boxers?
Will they have sammiches?
Oh well time to perform my civic freaking duty and try to fry some crook.